Professor Smith and Mrs Song
by shaping-up-to-be-pretty-ood
Summary: College days for River? How was the Doctor supposed to resist dropping in on his wife to wreak a little havoc?


"Physics! Oh, I will never get tired of shouting _that."_

River snapped upward from her slumped and obviously bored position as if she'd been given a violent shock. Why does he _do _things like that? This was a classroom full of college students, people who knew nothing about his childish little ways of poking fun at her career aspirations. She fought the urge to strangle him in front of all her classmates, and stared at him with murder (not _real _murder, she'd learned her lesson quite well enough already) blazing in her eyes.

He grinned as he looked her straight in the face. No, hang on, maybe it was a smirk...

"I'm Professor Smith! New to the university this year, new head of the Physics department because I'm just so clever. This would be the AP Physics class, dealing with temporal schisms (I've got great stories about _those_) and how Vortex Manipulators work, and all other sorts of timey-wimey and sciencey-wiencey stuff. And I know that's not proper, but why by good with words if you can't occasionally make a few up along the way?"

River seethed. This was absolutely mad! Not to mention wholly unfair to her! She was the only person in the room who knew who he actually was and what the idiot was doing here. She resolved to sit through whatever nonsensical thing he was about to teach and not voice a single word.

xXx

Which she did. The lesson would've made sense to the most idiotic of students, surprisingly enough. She suspected he'd practiced it on Sexy several times before actually setting his evil plot in motion. The scowl on her face had deepened within the course of the hour, and she had crossed her arms across her chest for added effect, something that just amused him further. When the time allotted for the class was up and the people stood in one fluid motion to run for the door, he said, "Mrs. Song, I'd really like to talk to you for a moment, if that's alright."

She groaned. Some of her classmates (mostly the female ones who seemed to hate her simply because of her hair) whipped around when the Doctor had said "Mrs." The stares annoyed her a bit. It didn't make her feel uncomfortable about her marriage, seeing as most of the time she was very proud of her husband. Maybe not at that moment. The whispers had started flying right then; speculation about who _she _could possibly be married to, why nobody ever heard of him before this, and all other sorts of things. She didn't even know. Just that the Doctor had accidentally let slip that they were married already in his timeline. The timeframe didn't really matter to her anyway, because she had always planned on marrying him and confirmation didn't really change much.

She stormed over to the desk he now had his feet propped up on and put her hands on her hips, the attitude of it all practically tangible. There was still smoldering fury in her eyes, and her lips had become a thin line.

Attempting to dissipate his grin (and failing), he brightly said, "You are _gorgeous_ when you're furious."

"Then I'm about to become absolutely flawless! Just what do you think you are doing here?! This is interfering with my education, and I won't let you do that!"

"Oh, come off it," he scoffed, rolling his eyes. "You're becoming an archaeologist."

"And you are the biggest hippie I have ever met! I wouldn't be surprised if _you_ introduced green energy to Earth in the 20th century!"

"Well, it wasn't _just_ me, you have to give the others some credit as well."

She threw her hands in the air. "I can't believe you! You can't just waltz into the very university I happen to be studying at and get a job as a physics professor! You'll probably ruin everyone's learning process anyway, because who knows when you'll let slip some important information about the future? Is it really that amusing to you to do this to me?"

"Do _what? _I'd like to visit my wife every now and then, thank you very much!"

"I'm not your wife yet! And now every single one of those hateful women know that I'm married, even though I'm technically not, and they will badger me for details to the ends of the universe and back. I try to keep a low profile here, seeing as I'm not even human, a time traveller and already a murderer."

"Yet here I am! Quite alive, thank you very much. Although it really wasn't fair to kiss me, you had to have known by the way I was acting that I wouldn't have been able to resist kissing you. I mean I never really can. And you should never deny a biological urge. Unless you're in a life-threatening emergency, in which case you should always ignore a biological urge. Rule number twenty-three, you should probably write it down. And keep it in mind when we're on Alfalfa Matraxis." He took one look at her face and then hastily tacked on, "Or not..."

"Doctor, why do you do this to me?" Her expression gradually morphed from anger to depressed. She sat on his lap, ignoring the slightly mixed signals that this gave him. Her head rested gently on his shoulder with her nose fitting into the space where his neck and shoulder met, and his arms instinctively snaked around her frame.

"I do it because I love you, and I love seeing you. Any chance I get to see my beautiful wife. And don't let what those girls say get to you. You're a Time Lord! You're Melody Pond! You're the child of my TARDIS and the most amazing woman in the universe. I do this because I love you so much, and I want to see you all the time, and experience everything with you, and maybe even help you with your stupid archaeology homework."

She smiled warmly, her eyes lighting up. "I know something that I've been wanting to experience with you for a long time..." Her tone was playful, like a cat batting at a dog's ear just to be mischevious.

The beating of his hearts picked up a little bit, she could just feel it. That must have meant that he had been to bed with her before, in his own timeline. She traced her finger along his bowtie, the fact that he knew his way around her body reassuring her to the fact that she was not as familiar with his. She was excellent at the kissing, that she knew very well, but the sex was iffy. _No time like the present,_ she told herself sternly, and captured the Doctor's mouth with her own to emphasize her own mental point. Once she knew he couldn't stand it any longer she stopped snogging him to look in his eyes intently, as if she were searching for something.

"Well," he whispered breathlessly. "Why don't you lead the way, Mrs. Song?"


End file.
